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Healthy, Cute, Chubby..

Healthy, Cute, Chubby are some of the nice, polite terms used by  people to describe overweight, fat, obese people. These courteous terms are used in order  to avoid hurt feelings (esp when the concerned person is a friend, relative or an important person in ones life), to be politically correct, to ensure that he/she is not offended, and sometimes to flatter/please.

The fact that the fat  people need to realise is " healthy, cute, chubby" is just a good & diplomatic way of saying that "You are fat". I can say this with a certain amount of confidence as i have been fat / over weight for the  most part of my life.

So next time, someone calls you "Healthy, Cute, Chubby", don't take it as a compliment, instead have a close look at yourself, evaluate your eating habits critically, make a definite & sustainable change in your lifestyle and get back in shape.

Resolution to create a new "me"

I have been overweight ever since my childhood. Though weight loss has been my only new year resolution since the past  15-16 yrs, i had made no significant progress in that direction. The reason being, i had never been seriously committed to this resolution. I had never made any serious and consistent effort to lose weight and one or two random attempts were complete failure.

Failed weight loss attempts

I joined a gym 8 yrs back & worked out for a month's time. I was happy with the result. I did lose some flab but it returned back within no time in multiple proportion as soon as i stopped my work- out. The reason being my busy schedule, sheer laziness and non commitment to the weight loss goal. Then around 5 yrs back, i tried GM diet, because that was the latest fad in my office at that point in time. Most of my overweight colleagues were trying it out, hence i joined the band wagon. However again i fell flat on my face when i lost 3 kgs in 1 week through GM diet and gained 5 kgs immediately after i resumed back my normal diet.

What prompted me to give weight loss another chance?

After 2 failed attempts, i never tried to lose weight again. I told myself that i'll never ever lose weight . I was, I'm & I will always remain fat no matter what i do. So i relished on all types of calorie dense food without any guilt feeling. I was happy. I got married and had a baby  last year. i was 80 kgs post partum and then 85. Then one day i casually checked my BMI (Body Mass Index), i was sure that it would be in the range of 25 & 30. It had always  been in that range since the past so many years, labelling me overweight and i didn't care. However this time, i was in for a surprise when the BMI calculator showed 30 point something. I tried recalculating just to reconfirm. This time, my BMI told me I'm "obese" unlike the past years when it told me that i was "over weight".

Now "Obesity" is an enemy,  it doesn't come alone. It brings lot many of its friends like diabeties, arthirities, blood pressure, cardiovascular diseases etc along with it to make life miserable. Now i need to do something about it before its friends attack me. I need to pull up my socks & fight it.

How do i fight obesity?

Obesity is a powerful enemy hence i need to use intelligent weapons to fight it and i need to build those weapons,  readymade ones won't work. What is required is a lifestyle change, personal commitment not a quick fix solution. I'm sure i'll defeat it forever. I'll be a new "me".

Cheers to life...

They say "never say never - life has a very strange way of proving you wrong".  Things that i said "never" to a few years back without a second thought is my reality today.

My heart yearns for things that i took for granted once upon a time. I long for things that i abhorred & despised long ago. Circumstances changed, perceptions changed & so did life. 


Things that i desperately sought once upon a time means nothing to me today. Dreams that i relentlessly chased are a distant memory.


Life crashed some dreams mercilessly under its feet & some vanished into thin air as if it never existed to make way for new ones.

In life there are some decisions that i took, there are many others that life took for me and which ones were better i cannot say.

At times i won a lost battle and lost the won ones, and victory brought more tears than defeat.

• At times you have to let go of certain things  to make room for things that you perceive to be better and you have to just gamble, take a chance, do your best and then wait & watch. 
•  At times you have to let go of your inhibitions,  stop worrying about what people perceives about you and do things that makes you truly happy.

Memoirs of a yearend trip to God's own country

I promised myself that i'll write atleast 2 blog posts a month, but i was unable to do so for more than a month now. Not because i have so many followers eagerly  waiting to read my ramblings (in fact i don't  have even one *wink*), it's just for personal satisfaction. For me blogging is the best form of expression these days as i don't have any good friends around with the same wave length.

There are basically 2 reasons for taking a complete break from blogging - (1) My Kerala trip, which was after almost a decade (8.5 yrs to be very precise). I mentioned about it in my last post.(2) Lots of pending work at office that i had to complete after returning back from my short 20 days vacation (short for me, long for my boss and very very long for the gal who was handling my profile during my absence *grins*). Nevertheless i had a great time there as it was a much awaited trip, my 1st visit to my ancestral home after marriage with my new family :) & my Aaliya baby's first ever Kerala trip.

Highlights of my Kerala trip: 

 - Spend some quality time with my family - my better half and especially 10 month old baby :), which is actually an privilege for working mothers like me, who often suffer from the guilt of not being able to spend enough time with their children.

 - Met my relatives and cousins after ages, met some unexpected ones :) [thanks to the festive season], couldn't meet some expected ones :(, met some for the 1st time (esp my hubby's relatives).

- Had an opportunity to attend the Christmas Carol service at the Kottanad Trinity Marthoma Church, (Ayioram), Pathanamthitta (Dist). This was for the 1st time that I attended the Christmas Carol Service in Kerala and it was a wonderful experience. The choir sang really well, music was mesmerizing, the programs were well organised. Bingo to the Yuvajan Sakhyam for their talent & efforts.

- Got a chance to attend a wedding at Mulanthurti Church (my MIL's parish), the  main reason for attending the wedding was to see the century old church, which is extremely magnificent and the most obvious reason was the Kerala wedding food, which was an ultimate gastronomical experience!!

- Wanted to witness the Kerala rains...it rained indeed, not once but twice (on 23rd Dec &  31st Dec). Nothing beats the scenic beauty of Kerala and especially when it rains. It's simply awesome!

- Now the best part - Kerala Food -it's amazing, you can try making all those recipes , with the same ingredients anywhere else in the world, it never  taste as good as it tastes when you are having it in Kerala, cooked in traditional manner. All the curries, thorans, merukuperatys, meen, erachis, samandhi, appams, palaharams...absolutely everything tastes heavenly - especially when you don't have to cook it yourself, there are others doing it for you *wink*.

- Been to Kochi, the city that's developed & still developing at a breath taking pace. I was extremely impressed by the city's infrastructure, the only city in Kerala to be in the league of a Metro (provided it creates more employment opportunities) , which i'm sure, it will become in the near future. I got so carried away that i felt like relocating there, however my feelings changed as soon as i heard the property (flat/land) prices. 
  
- Me & my better half enjoyed this trip thoroughly, but there is one person, who enjoyed this trip, more than us  - thats our little angel - Princess Aaliya, playing, crawling around, blabbering, entertaining everyone everywhere, seeking & enjoying all the attention from old & young alike ( for once, i didn't feel jealous of another female getting all the attention *grins*, i was rather overjoyed - i guess that's one thing that distinguishes a mother - daughter relationship, from all other women - women relationships).

I forgot "to live"

It's been more than 8.5 long years since i last visited my  native village or my parents native village (as I'm born & brought up in Mumbai) in Kerala - Thiruvalla & Chenganoor. I had been there last in May 2003 - right after my BMS (Bachelors in Management Studies) VIth Sem (final) exams. When i look back now,  i'm not sure why i haven't visit my dear ones there since so long inspite of my parents insistence . At one point of time, i had many reasons - MBA entrance exams,  MBA exams, projects, summer placements, final placements, job hunting, new job etc etc...Today when i look back & introspect,  i feel that they were mere excuses & not real reasons.

I didn't go to Kerala because i didn't really feel the need to bond with my grandparents, relatives, cousins & others. Not because i disliked them or hated the village but just because i was too busy doing things that i considered to be more important  for me  for eg:  go for my higher studies, build a career, earn money, compete and prove myself to the world etc. I was busy in the rat race. Visiting Kerala & meeting my folks there didn't figure anywhere on my priority list. Days turned into months and months into years. I was busy with my life. Initially my folks used to enquire about my Kerala visit, eventually they were tired & stopped enquiring.

Once in a while i used to remember my grandparents, relatives etc in Kerala and thought of visiting them however i wasn't motivated enough because either i had no leaves (PL/EL), or i felt that folks there would enquire about my marriage for which i didn't have any answer and so i hated that question.  I was of marriageable age by now but in no mood to settle down. I even secretly feared that they may force me to get married.

Then one fine day, my parents accomplished the herculean task of convincing me to settle down by finding Mr. Right (read Mr. J) for me. I got married. My wedding was in Gujarat and my very close relatives from Kerala attended my wedding. My folks there expected me to visit Kerala immediately after marriage which again didn't happen due to so called XYZ reason. The result : i didn't visit my native village for the next 3 years. 

Now the big questions are?

• What did i gain by not visiting my native village in Kerala for such a long time? Nothing that i couldn't have gained if i had visited my folks there once in a while atleast for a few days. 
• What did i lose - ( a lot - which i can never possibly express in a few words in this post/blog but i'll still try to pen down in words whatever i can)

             - I lost the chance to meet my maternal grandparents in the final  years of their life. They left for heavenly abode in my absence & I'll  never see them again in this life. Nothing in this whole world can make up for this loss.

            - Couldn't attend/ participate in any family events, wedding etc of my cousins that were held in Kerala.

            - I'm a distant memory for some of my relatives out there. Lot many of new generation kids don't know me. Thanks to my parents, who visit Kerala at regular intervals, some of them know i  exist.

           - missed out on some fun moments, happiness, togetherness, experiences, bonding etc etc...

What is lost is lost forever. Life doesn't have a "rewind" button and so i move on,  learning from mistakes  & promising myself to concentrate on things that truly matter...

(I'm happy that finally i decided to visit my native village in Kerala this Christmas. Eagerly looking forward to this Kerala visit like never before. This time with my better half & little princess (Aaliya). Tickets are booked, bags are packed, just 2 more days to go...yippeee...)

Life through rear view mirror

 Look at life through rear view mirror sometimes to see how far you have come from you started...

- When your capabilities are questioned, look back at the times when you proved the cynics wrong...

- When the going gets tough & the path seems rocky, look back at the storms that you have weathered to reach where you are today... 

- When you feel like a complete loser, look back at the failures that you had faced courageously, disappointments that you had gracefully overcome in the past...

- When your fears & anxieties give you sleepless night, just keep reminding yourself that you have experienced this before for countless things that cease to exist today and believe & affirm to yourself that this too shall pass...

- When the reality crushes your dreams under its feet and all your efforts seem worthless, don't stop believing in the power of your dreams, just remember that your dreams have brought you where you are today & they capable of taking you where you want to be... if and only if you don't give up on them... 

Cheers to Life!!